Haze of Dusk (A trilogy) Page 20

  “There is another man isn’t there? Who is it? Tell! Tell! Tell!” her acceleration freaks me out. I laugh at her silliness and leave her alone in her torment.

  I walk the hallways, laughing at Azania’s curiosity. She can be a snoopy little girl, but I have to admit her company is nice, maybe nicer than the boys. I can never ask Ramuso how I look, he will instantly say, “hot” or “wear something sexier.” I swear I think boys have mind communication. They all decide to be jerks at the same time. I press my aching stomach firmly. I’m almost there, about to meet with him.

  “Judyala…” I hear a hum in my ear. I halt, and gaze around. My heart drops to find a familiar-man leaning against a wall, his hands across his chest. He stands a few feet ahead of me. He has a leg on the wall. His damp hair falls on his face, for the first time in a while there is no coat on him. He wears brown trousers and a sleeveless pale-tunic that shows his well-built biceps. I’ve never seen him this fresh before. He hasn’t seen me, yet, it’s his voice I heard— so much for avoiding him. Now, no matter what, I have to pass by him to get to the garden. His head lifts and he sees me. He’s not surprise, but stares at me sluggishly. I press my lips together. My heart races with his appearance. I hide my shaking hands. It’s amazing how his appearance makes me wobbly. I dislike the feeling. I hate the fact we encountered, although something tells me it’s not by chance. Could it be he knew? Is he following me?

  I strain a smile and walk pass by him, but his hands boost to me, and he clutches my wrist, almost aggressive. “Where are you going? You should be resting.” I jerk my hand away from him. My sudden annoyance shocking him, he glowers.

  “I’m fine…I’m meeting a friend,” why should I reply. I don’t go asking him of his doing, or why was he in the swan garden with her. It’s the seventh day of the week, he has no right to question me. We’re allowed to do anything but leave the castle on our free days.

  “You’re meeting that chap, aren’t you?” I grimace, his tone is very spiteful.

  “That’s none of your business,” I shun him and stride away from him but Khysso hurries to me. He seizes my arm and strongly shoves me to the wall. I hit the back of my head. “Ouch, what’s wrong with you?” I hiss at him. By the flames within him I know something is awfully wrong. Khysso’s green eyes darken. His façade is consumed with a malicious obscurity. “What is wrong with you? What do you think you’re doing?” I argue rubbing the back of my head.

  “I do not want you to see him. I want you away from that chap,” he commands in anger. I grimace. I shake my head in dismay. Am I hearing things correctly? Did he just ask me to stay away from Corr? Who does he think he is? Do I go around asking him to stop seeing his bitch? “What! You are mad if you think—” he slams both his hands on the wall, locking me in between. I’m like a miniature person between his arms— a small helpless child. My heart races unconditionally. The pounding on my chest is like the drums of death. His head moves forward. His harsh breath prickles the skin between my neck and cheek. The closeness linking around us increases and decreases my upper body with such speed, I worry for my life. But it’s the damn heat I consume that deranges my body. It rushes through my veins— tingling the hairs in my skin and making of me something I hate becoming, an unspoken, pathetic weakling. The heat that takes over me becomes an aching pain that makes me want to drop in his arms, but I’m not giving in for that’s what he wants. He wants for me to become his puppet, and for me to demonstrate my need for his touch.

  “Damn you, Judyala…why? ” He mumbles, his lips brushing my temple. I want to place my hands on his chest and push him far from me, but something powerful stops me from parting from him, something that adores him. Khysso compresses his chest with my body. The beating of his heart is unusual, almost not human. He moves a hand to my neck. I gulp. The heat grows stronger, hurting my thoughts, ripping my innocence. Helpless and out of control by his touch I finally comprehend the waves of the heat is controlled by him. He brings it upon me. Khysso is enchanting me with spells, and I’m falling for it.

  “Why tease me? Why lead me to think?" He wheezes closely, moving his head forward, his lips near mine, his aura, and his smell hunting me. I open my mouth. I want to scream for help, but his glare petrifies me, I feel he reads me. There’s no way of defending myself from what’s coming…

  “What…are you doing to me? Why are you doing this?” I ask breathless. My mouth is completely dry. Khysso’s eyes meet mine—stillness overcomes, and in a jiffy his obscurity fades. He stares into my eyes degraded, almost shocked. He yanks his head down, and strongly punches the wall beside me. The thrusting noise startles me so I shut my eyes firmly.

  “Judyala,” he hides his face on my shoulder. Should I embrace him? I pick up my hands, but before handling him, Khysso jostles away leaving me utterly confuse. I don’t understand anything. I'm bewildered by his approach. But something I do comprehend is the fear I have. It's not fear of him, but fear of the queer sensation that burned my inside when his lips almost met mine.

  Corr smiles at me, his hands in his back. I walk towards him. My cheeks still burning because of my encounter with Khysso. Since of that occurrence, I no longer care about star-watching. I want to be alone, and recall how his fiery eyes hunt me. I seek to know why he'd act such a way with me. Why make me think he desires me, when his heart belongs to someone else? Corr tugs his arms from behind. He takes out a pile of beautiful roses.

  “Thank you,” I say warily. I obtain the roses from him and gently breathe in its aura. The fresh-nature scent takes my breath away. He slides a hand of his and seizes mine. I’m shy to his touch, and calm by it. There are no insane sentiments. His touch is peaceful unlike Khysso, who disturbs my emotions. We walk down to an alleyway with many roses, and fireflies, the garden of love. “Look,” he points at the sky. I gasp taken aback. The full-moon is outsized. The immensity makes the dents on it noticeable, shifting the shadows that shade the radiance. The sky is brilliant, there are countless stars, so many, that they create nighttime rainbow, making it seem as if the small fleck animatedly rotate. But it’s the beauty of the sky that confuses our viewpoint.

  “It’s beautiful… I’ve never seen it like this.”

  The night is dark. But the light the brilliant moon exposes gives us an illumination that can carelessly give our expressions away. I can feel his eyes on me, burning my cheeks, my heart races. I fear a confession.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m great, as if nothing ever happened?” Corr stares at me deeply. I can’t help but notice how handsome he looks. I bite my lower lip. “You know. You are beautiful…” my eyes widen to hear his words.

  “Ah…Thank you…” I say awkwardly. I bow down my head, not wanting to approach him. My heart beat sounds in my ears. Corr takes my chin and lifts my head up. My eyes conjoin with his. He moves nearer, not removing his sight from mine. This is it, he’s going to kiss me. I think of yanking away, but that awful memory of Khysso with Casandree embarks in my mind. Thus, I remain at still and I let Corr’s warm lips meet mine. What I have longed since the first day I met him has finally occurred, except, his lips are bitter. The kiss is not right. My heart hurts, and my eyes water, for the uncertainty within me falls into place. In my mind, in my soul…in my heart is another man—the thought makes me sick. I haul away. I don’t want to confront the truth that screams in me. He groans.

  He places a hand on my burning cheek. “You’re alright?” He whispers. I slightly nod. I can't receive a second kiss. Say something Judyala, but what? A loud howling startles us, immediately changing our moods. “Did you hear that?” I say panicky. Corr is alarm by the strange howling. He nods, “sounds near…similar to the howl of an arclaw… it can be a wolf. I’ll inform the guards. I think we should go back inside.” He insists. By his trouble behavior, I know the strange howling can mean something hazardous.

  Casandree speaks yet her words are blocked by my slothfulness. Khysso's shadow stalked me the entire night. His despera
tion and rage repeats itself in my head, it’s as if he inputted it on my mind on purpose, desiring distraction. Damn Khysso. He contaminated my mentality and is now stealing my world. Why would he think I’m teasing him? I've never led him to think so…or have I?

  “A male arclaw is very sensitive to his partner. If their soul mate doesn’t return his love after he claims her. Do you know what happens, Judyala?” I wiggle to the sound of my name.

  “Huh…what…no.” I yank my hand from the table, all eyes in the room is on me. “When his love is not returned, after a while, the male arclaw becomes…untamed. He becomes destructive, soon finding his own annihilation,” her attention is on me. She's possibly unhappy by my absent-mindedness. I purse my lips, and move my eyes to the wall, where I sight a male arclaw killing without consideration. “This barely happens…but when it does…it is very unsafe.” She says walking to the front of the class. I sigh distressfully. The war is near, soon I’ll be facing the arclaws, am I prepared for this dangerous task. Am I prepared to take away many lives?

  Azania’s mouth runs faster than the flames of a mad-dragon. She queries about my date with Corr, and although I cleared nothing happened, she still requests the details. She is easily irritating me, especially now that my head is somewhere else. We rest in Khysso’s class, waiting for his arrival. As the class murmurs about the bizarre howling, I munch on my lips for I have devoured the little nails I had left.

  “So, last night, was there an arclaw on the field?” Azania asks me another of her one hundred questions. “No Azania, there wasn’t an arclaw, it was just a wolf…” I snap. Not that I know, I just want to shut her mouth. Her eyes widen. She buries her face with her hair. I sigh, regretting my cruel attitude towards her—before I can apologize, the room falls quiet, meaning he has arrived. I take in a deep breath. Relax, and show Khysso he won't pull you down. I proudly turn to face him—shockingly it’s not Khysso, but a short, fat ears, half yolk, half-sovy instructor.

  “Good afternoon class, I’m Sorcerer Willy, and starting today I will be your instructor for magic statistics.” Azania and I look at each other. We’re shocked by the news. “What…what happened to Instructor Shorewen?” A girl from behind asks in a desperate tone. “Instructor Shorewen has left to teach the warriors. He will no longer join us. Now open your books.” The boys rejoice over Khysso’s depart, especially Ramuso. As for the girls, they plunge down a hectic and disappointing path, and with them, I stand aside, bewildered by his leave. Could it be he left because of me?

  I despondently lay on my bed remembering the way Khysso hit the wall. The anger in him was apparent, all because of Corr. But if that’s the reason does it mean…he was jealous? It can't be. Khysso belongs to Casandree. He can't possibly think of me that way. He's my instructor, and I am his apprentice. Perhaps, he was being delusional. Yes, he must've confused me for someone else. And that heat I produce when around him, is it really something he’s doing to me. I violently sit up. It's later than midnight and I can't get any shut eye because of him. I urge for him to be remove from my mind. I know what can help! I need guidance. I stand, and walk to the room of the only person that can help me smile.

  I enter my friend’s room tip toeing. I don't have to fret about making noise, for Osys snoring overcomes any racket. I head to Ramuso, who dribbles carelessly. I stare in disgust. It happens to me sometimes, but watching someone else doing it, it’s truly unpleasant. I sit on the edge of his bed and shake his arm, quietly calling him. Ramuso wakes up in a hurry, rolling his eyes in all directions, until his sight clamps on me. “W-w-wha…where’s the fire!” he panics half asleep.

  “I can’t sleep…” he groans.

  “So, you come and interrupt my dreams. I was dreaming of Lucy from magic intro. Ah, she’s even hotter in my dreams,” his expression precious, making me forget my worries. I giggle, and as I do he intently looks at me. “What’s wrong with you? You’ve been acting weird the entire day?” I bite my lips. Not entirely all day, more like… since I found out about Khysso. I shrug. If I confess what happened between me and Khysso will he go mad?

  “So you and Corr are seeing each other…right?” I grimace. Together…as an item, why would he think that?

  “No…no way, why would you say this?” He twists his lips.

  “Well, you two were fairly amorous for training. He held your hand during dinner…” True, we did ignore everyone else in the meal room as we talked. And for training, Corr personally assisted me, holding me close, but as friends…I think. Oh-no, could it be we are dating and I did not notice, but what happened with asking me.

  “I-I guess...we are talking…” he lets out air and lowers his head. He anxiously rubs the back of his head. Oh no, something’s wrong. He’s thinking, Ramuso never thinks. “W-why are you doing the head thing?” He breathes out harshly.

  “You’re my friend. I mean Corr is too, but… you’re a girl, and you have feelings so…umm…” I’m a girl and I have feelings, does this mean boys don’t.

  “Spill it!” I command. He rolls his eyes all ways, assuring they sleep. “Corr still has feelings for Casandree.” He starts in a whisper. “Last night he called her name as he slept. If he’s after you it’s probably because he’s using you to forget her. You are beautiful and well…there’s not a man in this castle who doesn’t want to be with the girl who brought the dragon’s head. Not that to me that’s attractive. Actually, I’ll be afraid of a girl like you.” He says quickly. I chuckle at his say, but his confession doesn’t surprise me, I knew it from the start. Corr still loves her. Of course he does, he can’t possibly forget her so soon. Although touched, I'm liberated, for now I know I don't have any obligation towards Corr. Like me, his hearts is not corresponding.

  “I understand what you are trying to say, but you don't have to worry, really." I say smiley. "Good, I'm sorry if I broke your heart. I simply don't want him to do so." I chuckle.“You’re not breaking my heart Ramuso. I'm fine." I assure.

  "You don't have to hide it from me, Judyala. I know you love Corr." I choke on my own saliva. "I don't love Corr, are you insane!" I snap, I slap my mouth. I don’t want to wake up the rest. I peek their way—they sleep. I look right back at Ramuso.

  "He’s my friend...that is it. Nothing more." I whisper.

  "B-but your hate towards Sellias, I was certain it’s more like jealousy..." I scoff, me… jealous, is Ramuso mad? I can never be jealous of that woman. Why would I?

  “I don’t like her because she’s a bitch,” Khysso’s bitch. His lips rise from a side, and a strange silence encircles us, I can tell he doesn’t believe me. “So, that was strange with Khysso. Why do you think he left?” Ramuso’s eyes rise high. My random question takes him aback. “I really don’t know. He’s been an instructor for years. It’s strange he would just leave. Something must be going on…” he looks at me sneakily. “And since when do YOU call him Khysso?” My heart bounces. I yawn with a stretch of my hands. I overlook his question. “Can I take a nap here?” I lay down on his bed. “Oh no, my bed is too small, go to your old one!” he complains, but I ignore him. There’s no turning back, alone I’ll think of him. The instant my head meets the pillow, I daze into my dream word, far from Khysso’s bewitching spell.

  A rumbling noise and low chattering forces my heavy eyes to open, I’m bushed, and I require more sleep. Fuzzy by my exhaustion, I can't distinguish my circle.

  “What are you doing sleeping in Ramuso’s bed?” I identify the yolk that stares in awe. I partly lift my head and indistinctly gape around. Ikumus, Onnet, and Corr stare at me in dismay. “I…sleep walked…” I lie. I can give a better explanation when I’m fully awake. “Where’s Ramuso?” I notice his departure. They point at the floor. He sleeps hugging his sheet. I’m sure I kicked him out of the bed. I’m an awful sleeper. A kicker— Jorsay hates sharing a bed with me.

  “Wake up you moron. You’re four hours late to your classes.” Onnet cruelly kicks him as he sleeps. But the word school and late combined, shoots
Ramuso up.

  “I’m late!!” he screams and runs to get ready. As he does, he yells how it’s my fault for keeping him up, in which he is absolutely right. I should know not to wake up a kid who takes daybreak classes. I yawn, and lay back down. “Can you boys keep it down…I’m trying to sleep.” I garble closing my eyes.

  “No she did not. This is no longer your room, Zayras.” I hear Onnet whine. If I had any strength I would argue back, but sleeping is my prior interest. “I’ll take care of this,” strong arms lift my body. I gasp, fully awakening.

  “Corr!” I exclaim blushy. He beautifully grins.

  “Let’s take you back before you get in trouble, Miss Zayras.”

  “Corr, I’m fine…really… I can go back…” I insist, but he’s willing to take me to my room in his arms again. I sigh, seeing no choice. Still, I’m a bit embarrassed for I wear my white, long-sleeved unfashionable gown. I should’ve worn my shorter, more alluring robe. Damn dumb decisions. “You’re silly, if you felt lonely why didn’t you come and get me?" Corr says as he walks the halls. I strain a smile. How does he know I felt lonely? Is my miserable life that obvious? Corr stops moving. He looks straight at the footpath, somewhat pale. I stir my sight to his interest to find a glaring Khysso, behind him is Casandree. Corr delicately puts me down. We gaze at them in a bottomless trance. Khysso's appearance makes my heart rush, and again, he’s with her—I don’t need another reason to think they are an item. It’s obvious they belong with one another.

  “Come.” Corr takes my hand, when without any warning, Khysso rushes to Corr. He snatches Corr’s neck and slams him to the wall, his sudden deranging madness leaves us in an absolute shock.

  -19-

  Surge

  I smack a hand on my mouth dumbfounded by the conflict. An angry Corr punches Khysso on the face, only infuriating the strong man that with a hand brings him down instantly. Khysso jabs Corr on the floor. “Stop it! please stop!” Casandree exclaims as I gape petrify by the fight. Confusion gains control over me. I don’t find a motive for their fighting. Hands grasp my shoulder. Casandree is in tears.